Today I was listening to Mindy Kaling’s audio book and I began a chapter where she outlines the unspoken rules of best friendship. She ends with “We fucking rock, no one can beat us”. This describes us perfectly. A lot because we have 100% said this many times. Or something very close. We have been basically saying it since we were the weirdos in fourth grade who were skipping around in a circle during recess, singing a theme song we made for characters we made up from our french workbook as the way cooler seventh graders sat cross legged in a circle in the field judging us only as brutally as cool seventh graders could. Very brutally. We didn't give a fuck.
I think we have only ever had one fight. Someone said something mildly inappropriate about the others grandma or something in the fourth grade. It was over in about 5 minutes after we got distracted by the flickering light in one of the hallways of our elementary schools. “Ghost of our presence, give us a sign that you are near!” And then the light would flicker. I don’t know how we avoided being put into a special program or tested or something.
We were never the stereotypical girly bffls that got our nails done or talked about boys for hours on end or did whatever it is that girls do. We explored the city, put Kraft Dinner in a thermos and went out in the winter to eat it on the stoop of a house that was being built, watched the office, went to concerts, caught frogs at summer camp, and watched Cloverfield more times than any pair of pre teen girls should. To properly explain our friendship, I have these screenshots from Facebook that made me cringe a little, and laugh a lot more.
We weren't going to let the other fall into the danger of the pedophile haven of MSN messenger.
And then we did stupid shit like this at 3 a.m. ... I'm pretty sure we were in high school... Not getting drunk by a fire on the bluffs like the rest of my high school.... doing this...
Then there was the time we went on a ski trip and ordered 16 pillows
She is my partner for all the places in Toronto that I'm trying to get diabetes from. Who else is going to wake up at 7 am just to go get a donut with me? If you're that person we're soul mates.
-That time the truck broke down in the heart of Montreal
-When I had no money so I made her a snow globe for Christmas which she kept on her shelf until it evaporated due to my lack of proper snow globe making materials
-When we took puns too far with our Waiters name. (Will)
-That time she gave me her jacket so I could steal the victory pillow at Osheaga
-Farewell lunch before the milestone of moving away to university
-Making brownies with flags in them that read "We hate Guatemala" because we are hilarious.
-Waiting with a bunch of elderly stoners for two hours to see Rick Springfield perform Jessie's Girl
This distance can't stop us from being weirdos for the public to judge. It is your birthday nugget. I promise I will make you that carrot cake when I'm back.